One year out

  And...... yes it has been one year. I have lost 190 pounds, nearly half of my self. I saw the pics from the day I started my journey at the hospital. Four hundred and fifty four pounds, let that just sink in for a minute, 454 pounds one year ago. Today, I weighed 264 pounds, nearly 200 pounds gone. I could not have done it without support from family. The fact that they realized this was something I wanted so I could feel better and be more active and were willing to help means the world to me.

  How have things changed? Let's see here, I have gone from a size 54 waist to a 38, lost two shirt sizes, 5XLT to 3XLT(I prefer the baggy shirts), here was one I wasn't expecting a shoe size. I dont eat bread, white bread anyways. Sugary foods are now gone from my diet, they would hurt me as it is. I very rarely eat pasta now, which that was a huge staple for me before surgery. I can play golf pretty much all day and not get tired anymore, well my body can, wallet on the other hand. I spend a lot of time in the gym as well as going back to school, plus work full time. I feel like crap if I do not get to the gym everyday, even after playing golf and school or work. Here is one that still kinda baffles me a little bit, I can be very tired and go to sleep but after a few hours my body wants to go. My mind isn't so sure.  There are days where getting my back off that bed is rough, but I do it and never regret getting up and doing what I need to do to be healthier.
  Yes, I still crave sweets from time to time. I don't dare touch them though. I have found Quest Bars from Quest Nutrition. The cravings Peanut Butter Cup and the Cookies and Cream are the best at killing a sweet tooth. they have 20grams of protein, 1g of sugar and gluten free. I don't worry about the gluten free part, but I know there are some who read this that are looking for gluten free items and are loving these. I do have to keep my protein intake up, I drink at least 2 shakes a day plus a bar. When I am feeling low on energy I have another gluten free, sugar free drink I fall back on, Gamma Labs GFuel. I usually get the Lemon Lime or watermelon, but they have a Peach Mango that is incredible.

  The G Fuel doesn't make you jittery or let you crash after a couple of hours. I usually take a Gamma Pre Training Formula on my heavy days at the gym, I will drink that mixed with a protein from Syntrax (kiwi strawberry) while I am doing my cardio then mix a G Fuel right behind it to sip on during my workout. Love the energy. My focus is also better while I am drinking those, so yes I have them in my classes as well.
  I love finding the portion control helpers for myself. It takes the guess work out of getting the right amount of food and not over doing it. I still to this day, sometimes have eyes way bigger than my stomach. They are old habits that you do without thinking. Whats funny is when that happens, you look at it when you sit down and basically go "What the hell is this?" how did I just do that to myself? Good news on that you just portioned off your leftovers for later. I love when I go out to eat with the wife and friends. We order and are having a good time, the food arrives and the server asks if there is anything we need and I ask for a to-go box right then. The look on their faces is nearly priceless. Most ask if everything is alright, then I have had one ask me if I had to leave or if I had something done where I can't eat a lot and need to hide the rest. Well I am going to wrap it up here and come back for another post soon.

Busy Holiday Life

  As some of you know I work for the largest online retailer in the world. During the holidays, I sleep less, eat less, work more and generally get into a worse mood the closer Christmas gets. The last few years have been rough around the holidays, but after I had my surgery and have lost the weight that I have, I vowed this year would be different. I still am not sleeping much, so my attitude has been affected a little bit. I am a little quicker to get angry. Yet I am also realizing this much faster and thinking, for the most part, what I should say rather than just blurting it out. Now with that being said, I am finding that not being as exhausted as I used to get last year a major plus. Not carrying around the weight, basically another person, I am not wearing out as fast. I am still finding time to hit the gym, even in this week leading up to Christmas. I guess I could fill you in on why its so busy for me.
  This week I am working 12 hour nights, driving one hour each way to and from work, putting in at least a 45 minute or more workout and sleeping a few hours a day. I have not seen my wife other than me crawling into bed and her getting up for her day, since Sunday at church. This is a yearly right of passage for us, it seems that its more of a trial though. This year has been much more intense work wise due to Thanksgiving being a week later than usual, and only having three weeks between holidays. Work is feeding us every Wed. which is usually pretty cool, until they have something I have to avoid. My boss is generally pretty good at letting me know what we are having before hand so I can give him what I can have or bring my own thing. When it comes to that, Subway seems to be my best and only choice. I do the best I can to avoid fast food as much as possible. The last few nights have been very intense work wise around me and my shift partner, our job has been relatively simple, fix what breaks. The rest of the building is "Making Christmas Happen for Millions". We are shipping out record numbers, bringing in record numbers and have record numbers of people in the building.
  With all this you might think how does anyone not go insane during this time? Seriously have you met me? Just kidding. It is about finding that little joy in your day and focusing on that and waiting on the next one for tomorrow. Mine happens to be hitting the gym everyday. It lets me focus on me, and let the rest of the stuff melt away. Nothing else matters,  plug in my ear buds and commence to building my body into the shape I want. The stronger I get the more I want to be in the gym. While this is going on, I am relying more on supplements to help me through the day. Gamma Labs G Fuel is a must for when the shift is getting late, their PTF (Pre Training Formula) is awesome just before a workout, Syntrax Nectar protein drinks keeps my protein levels up as required from the surgery. I have gone back to the Flintstone vitamins instead of the Celebrate drink paks, and protein bars as snacks. Still need the wife to give me the B12 shot for the month. Planning your days out and food out for the day is a big key to success. I am still losing weight, even though my current diet is mainly flatbread sandwiches from Subway, oh with Sriacha sauce. I have recently become addicted to that stuff.
  Ok I am going to get off of here and try to keep myself going for the next couple of days and get to Christmas in one piece. Have a great Christmas if I don't see you before hand or write again.

New things I am finding out

  As I have been going through my weight loss journey, I am finding out new things all over the place. Today for example, going up and down some stairs I didnt need the handrail to steady myself. Never worried about falling or needing to use my arms to pull myself up the steps. My stamina is getting better and better. I have noticed how much easier it is to go longer and longer on the bike or elliptical machines. My strength is building back to where it was years ago. You never realize how much you take for granted when you are not heavy, then after you lose those things and never have them, you learn to appreciate the small things like stairs and just ease of movement in general. I am now down a total of 180 pounds, my current short term is to be at or above 200 pounds lost for my one year anniversary on Feb 5th.
  I am close to this goal. If you want to follow along with me find my facebook.com/mboruff1 or my google+ account of mboruff1, twitter you guessed it mboruff1 is the user name. I am also on Instagram with the same user name as all of the above. I have been posting my progress on all of these sites.
  Lets see if we can get Gamma Labs to sponsor me, lol. I have started using their products nearly everyday, PTF just before a workout and G Fuel to keep me going towards the end of my shift to get me home. Their product has been a big help in keeping me motivated in the gym. Quest Nutrition is another company that I would like to give a BIG shout out to. Since my surgery I have had a major craving for Peanut Butter chocolate cups, but Reese's brand would nearly kill me. Well at least I would wish it would have. Quest has a PB cup that is gluten free and only 2g of Sugar with 20g of protein that is killer. They also have a great list of awesome tasting bars, some I love. Cinnamon Roll tastes like Cinna Bon parked a big roll right in front of me, Raspberry cheesecake flavor also rocks. Okay, maybe thats a good Christmas idea for me, get me Gamma and Quest products. Its just a slight joke, I would really appreciate it.
  I did see something in the gym the other day that kind of irritated me. I was at the School Fitness center and there was a larger girl working out. She was new to working out, you could tell by her form and her uneasiness around the equipment. She had a determination that she was going to make herself better. Then one of the younger, more metabolically blessed students, started to quietly heckle her and I could hear what he was saying. If you know me, you know I did not be quiet to this kid, but kept it out of her earshot. I told the kid that she had to learn how to eat properly, become disciplined about training and have a determination to succeed, and that every journey starts somewhere. Making fun of someone who is making the effort to better themselves, physically, educationally deserves the respect of those around them. It doesnt matter how she got to be as big as she was, all that matters is she is making the effort to change her life. He asked me how would I know what she is going through I wasn't fat. That line took a minute to settle in on what he said, but I quickly gave him my abbreviated story. After he thought about what he had been doing, he apologized and left the gym. I did not want this girl to hear what was going on, I want her to succeed, and not become self conscious and not come back. Then the kids words hit, I wasn't what he considered fat anymore. Wow, how does that slide by without it registering and now to process that I am not the largest person in the room anymore. And that is where I am going to leave this for now, it still hasnt sunk in all the way, I am winning my battle against fat and unhealthy choices. And it shows.

Finding Normal

  How do you define normal? Me, its being able to walk into a regular store and buy clothes off the rack without looking for the extra x's. This past weekend I was able to do just that, sort of. Shirt was 2XLT, I have always had a long torso anyways, but the jeans were 42 waist which I have not seen in well over a decade. I was even still leary about buying them, knowing I might not be able to wear them for long before they are too big, but all my others are WAY too big now. It was kind of exciting to buy clothes that fit better than the ones I have, I also like the shirts I had, they hide a lot of extra skin that I dont want to show off. They are larger shirts but are comfortable in the fact that they are long enough and I have plenty of room in them.
  I am down to 290 as of yesterday, kinda stuck there. It happens from time to time, where I am stuck at a weight for a week or so then it breaks loose. Had my 6 or 8 month (depends on who you ask) checkup and I had hit my goal of 150 before that appointment. Now my next goal is to have lost a total of 200 by my February appointment. I believe its possible, but if I dont make it not that big of a deal. See I have goals to hit but I know if I do not make it in the timeline I want to, its Ok. Some of the people I have talked to that have had the same operation or similar, get angry when they are not on the track they think they should be on. Look the surgery is just a tool, and like any tool it has to be used properly. I sometimes eat things I shouldn't, like flour tortillas or a little bit of flour pasta, but then I feel like crap afterwards. Not mentally, but physically and then I avoid them like the plague. Its all about listening to your body and making it happy with what you give it.
  You also need to find a routine to get your workouts in. By workouts, I mean sweat pouring, muscle burning, drop from exhaustion workout in. Whether its from a group class, strength training (my favorite), cardio or whatever, you have to get it in. At two or three months after surgery I was in the gym building my future foundation for my lifestyle and  body. I suggest an app called GymPact. It helps keep you going to the gym, or you lose money. I will let them explain it better, I like the accountability it has, if I miss one of the three workouts I say I am going to do in the week(I usually end up going more) its $10 per workout missed. There are some people I know who had the surgery well before I did and have not lost nearly as much as me, because they dont do their workouts like they should. They will go swim laps, walk a mile or two, but never at a good rate to break a sweat. I have been asked by them and by my Dr. along with the dietician, "What are you doing that others arent?" Its working out and doing the diet like you are supposed to, protein first then veggies then a little carb. Still keep it under, now 7 ozs. I stay at 6 only because thats where I am comfortable right now. I take my vitamins like I should, protein supplements regularly. If you do what you are supposed to and add the effort required to get more out of it, you will exceed the expectations you have for even yourself. That goes for whether you have had the surgery or just trying to change your life. I am not advocating the surgery, if you ask me I will tell you I am glad I did it for me, but a change in your life. Live to the fullest, enjoy its harvest.
  All these things have led me to think to myself, what is normal? It used to mean going to work, eating, sleeping and doing it all over again. Now, it means waking up, prepping my protein drinks, getting my vitamin drink packs, gathering up my lunches for work into my little Libby 6oz bowls or a wheat, meat and cheese wrap. Then head to workout, class then work. One of the downsides of my surgery, my tailbone hurts if I sit too long, lost all the cushion there. Not really a bad thing but the days I am really tired it keeps me from being too lazy. Unfortunately, the weather is changing and golf is almost over with for the year. So, time to find another hobby? Nah I will just pour that time into being at the gym and working harder and longer. That way when next golf season comes around I can enjoy it even more.
Find your new normal, its not that hard.

150 down and dropping

  I stepped on the scale Sunday morning to find not only did I finally break the 150 pound barrier I had been fighting, I dropped through the 300 pound mark as well. I have lost nearly 156 pounds so far. I think I am more excited about being below 300 than the 150 mark. I feel so much better everyday, I still have a few bad ones here and there. My knees alone feel like they did when I was in my teens, only without the flexibility. I have started going back to training Jiu Jitsu with a friend of mine, I am lifting heavier and heavier weight, more easily than before. I have endurance that I don't ever remember having.
  I have had a lot of help in the last 9 months since surgery, A LOT. I think the support I have had is very important to my success. I think I am going to need it with the on coming holidays. I just don't want to slip, I won't gain any back over the holidays, that is not what I am worried about. I had the misfortune to find out that certain apples are now off my list of foods I can eat. Lets just say it was a very rough night. My fear this holiday, and it might be irrational, is that I will get a hold of something that has too much sugar for my system to handle, without realizing it. Fruit salad and things of that nature.
  I am seriously thinking I need to get ahold of the Blender Bottle company and ask for a sponsorship. Almost everything I drink anymore comes out of one of those. When you have to get a certain amount of protein in a day and need to mix it quickly those things work great. Just a word of warning, DO NOT LEAVE IT SIT IN THE CAR WITH A LITTLE BIT OF THE DRINK LEFT IN IT. You will die when you open it and will really just want to throw it away. Luckily, bleach and dish soap soak help take it away for a while. I also found a bowl that is my serving size and is great for portioning out meals for the week, if I am planning that far out, shhh I rarely ever do.
  I get asked quite often what I miss. Peanut Butter, bread, pasta... I could go on. Then I stop and think about it, with the way I feel without all that, why do I miss it. Seriously, it tastes awesome but why miss it if that is what got me in the situation I was in. Somethings you are just better to learn to live without. I am going to leave you with some more motivation, quotes that seem to help me through. Be it workouts, school or work.
  Nothing is impossible, tell me it is, and I will show you its not.
  Fear keeps you in chains, choosing to remove those chains grants you freedom.
  Pain is temporary, and worth every moment when you love yourself.
  Love yourself, then look at how you treat yourself and you will find yourself.
  Remember where you were, remember how it felt, then turn around and move forward.
  These are just a few things I keep reminding myself with. The first one is the most powerful to me, mainly because I am stubborn and will do anything to prove you wrong, I have been told its impossible so many times. I used to believe it, just go with the flow and let it be. I hated myself when that was the case. God had to lift me up, brush me off, open my eyes and tell me I was worth everything and more. Now, ask me where I get my strength from and you will hear me say in Him I find strength to do all things. I am still learning to be Christ like in many ways, but I am an open sinner, and do not claim to be a false saint. I have my faults but choosing to become who I am now and will be takes a strength you have to find deep in your faith, yourself and family to help you through. I chose to have the surgery to become healthier for my family and myself, and this is why I keep moving forward and enjoy everyday. God helped me stand in my decision to have this done, and I have never thought of ever turning back.

  I am nearing the 150 pound lost mark and have been seeing the progress slow. Shh.... Its not bothering me because  its still coming off. I have made some adjustments to my diet, I moved away from the CelebrateEN Drinks for protein and vitamins. I switched to the vitamins drink mix and a better tasting protein made by Nectar. Their Strawberry kiwi is awesome, it just takes some getting used to since its not as thick as the chocolate milk that I am used to.
  I have been on a taco kick here lately, I went to California and was introduced to the best carnitas tacos I have ever had. They were maybe 3 oz a piece, consisting of carnitas, salsa and cilantro on two tortillas. I miss Ricky's taqueria, and hey if you are reading this by chance, will you please send me your recipe.
  I did meet a good friend out there while working. David, who had no idea how much he helped, ended up being a good influence on me even if he didn't see it. We ended up doing the tourist things while out there, but mainly keeping me in a some what normal gym routine while out there. yes, we had to drive about 30 minutes to a Planet Fitness gym but it was worth it. That is the real lesson to learn from anything in this post, YOU ARE WORTH THE TIME TO INVEST IN YOURSELF. Make the time, no excuses, if you love yourself stop waiting for the perfect time, which does not exist. I am living proof that taking your health into your hands and making the most of a second chance is what life can be all about.
  For those Bari patients out there that would like to find a good preworkout supplement try Gamma labs PTF. Sugar free, gluten free and caffeine free. I mix it with my morning (afternoon, I work midnights) protein drink before work or working out. It keeps me going all night and there is no major crash like those energy drinks filled with sugar.
Well work time is almost over later.

Finding Energy

  After my last post, I have since lost more weight go figure. Down to 348. My energy level is skyrocketing, although when I am at work in the middle of the day I get really tired for about 30 minutes. Doc said not to worry at my appointment last week. I hardly sleep because I would rather be in the gym, golfing, walking, anything but waiting around to fall asleep. I get about 5 hours tops a night. I still enjoying watching some TV now and then, but with summer being here.... I want to go to the beach at Mississenewa or France Park, or play as much golf as my body can handle. Last summer before surgery, Skyler and I went to France Park swimming. He is one of my best friends even though he is my son. I enjoy going to movies with him, grabbing a quick bite to eat hanging out with him when I can. Sadly, like all dad's he now has a full time job and a girlfriend, so I see him very little now. He is 18 after all. It's just strange that now I have all this energy and could really use someone to go and do things with, like Sky, he is gone. It does not help that I have a very unusual schedule compared to most. I work Sun-Wed Days until next week then to nights, 10 hour days, an hour away. Yes, I literally spend 12 hours away from home for work each day.  My adult friends for the most part do not share the same interests as I do, so I am pretty much on my own(at least it feels that way) when I want to go do things.
  A year ago, I struggled with having no energy whatsoever after work. Now, I hit the gym every night after work, shh I even got Shelley to go, I know shocker right? I spend at least an hour strength training and 25 - 30 minutes doing cardio. Strange thing is I have more energy when I leave the gym then when I went in. I need to find things to occupy my time besides golf and weight training all the time, just to save from boredom and burnout. Sitting and playing video games doesn't cut it anymore, neither does playing more than one game of cards. I feel electric and want to experience everything anew again. No one seems to understand this at the moment.
  I have a possibility to travel for work coming up and can't wait, I have the energy for the work coming up. It may mean missing my son's open house for his graduation, but he is cool with it, he knows how much I have wanted to do this kind of project at work. You want to know the energy level I feel, you know that song that comes on and you can't help but get revved up by it? The one that when it starts you get the tickle at the base of your skull and it buzzes all the way through to your eyes. Take that and amplify it by 10, but you are talking about someone who had very little energy before. Even my work is showing the increased energy, my ticket count is higher than anyone else and higher than it has been in a long time. I work in one of the busiest buildings in the network, and luckily for me I get a lot of walking in since the building is as big as it is, over a million square feet.
  I wish most of you could understand the feelings I get when I sit down in a booth at a restaurant and fit, or the movie theaters without having to raise one chair arm up. The feeling when you can finally bend over and tie your shoe without being out of breath when you come back up. The thrill of buckling your seatbelt without the need of an extender or feeling like you are about to be strangled by a python. When things that used to be difficult are noticeably easier. It's those thrills and the increase in energy that make me want to experience everything again. I feel like a kid, just not quite running yet, hahahaha.
Later all